Sex Over 40 – Tips And Secrets That Make Sex More Satisfying
When I was 19 years old, I imagined being 40 as being on the other side of the hill. Now that I am 49, I feel like I am finally getting to know who I am, what I want, and what makes me truly happy in my skin.
One area I have re-evaluated is the place that sex and intimacy have in my life. I realize that it plays an essential part in understanding myself and my relationship with my partner. Now, sex allows me to feel at ease, settled, and healthy.
However, based on conversations with many other women, they don’t feel the same way. Many of my friends see sex as a chore, as a duty that they want to check off as done. Truthfully, I had felt that way at one time.
Where did this come from?
Why Is It That The Majority Of The Women I Speak With Over 40 Feel This Way?
As a woman, we have so many responsibilities; caring for our children, our business/work, and look fabulous while juggling all these things. There’s also sharing ourselves with our partner in intimacy to add to our plate. That’s a lot! In fact, that’s how I used to see it!
The Genesis of Skewed Thoughts
When I got married 23 years ago, my mom told me there are two things I must do to have a happy marriage:
- Feed him
- Give him sex
Now in many ways, that is good advice. However, it skews your thinking that sex is primarily a duty, a function, and a performance that is necessary for him. When you think of sex in that way, eventually, you will get tired, and your sex drive will take a back seat or no seat.
The Mind Is Important In Sex
A vital sex organ is the mind; how you think matters and contribute to the enjoyment that you get with sex.
My mindset on sex changed once I understood that good sex is more about connection, re-energizing, de-stressing, relaxing, and growing. Also, I’ve learned a lot over the years from listening, reading, and, most importantly, experimenting.
Tips That Make Sex More Satisfying For Women Over 40
Being over 40, most women start to understand their mind and their body. So, if they make the right switch, they can begin to level up their sex lives. Here are some tips that have worked for me. Maybe they will work for you too.
- Get a Sexy Mindset
As mentioned above, the mind is essential – sex begins in the brain.
What are your beliefs around sex? If you think of it as a chore or something to “give” to your partner, you’ll not be able to enjoy it.
Start a mindset change and begin to embrace the power in sex and your femininity. Sex can make you feel more powerful as a woman. It can be a way to express your strength, uniqueness, and femininity and to allow you to transcend into a higher space.
Once you do that, then lovemaking will be something that comes with no pressure and becomes more of a priority with positive thoughts around it.
- Sex Is a Part of Self-Care
Getting a 90-minute massage or binge-watching Netflix is part of self-care and unwinding. Healthy sex has even greater benefits. As with everything self-care, you need to set time aside to indulge in lovemaking – don’t rush it.
Carve out a few hours to this indulgence. This allows you to start the connection without feeling rushed when sex starts. Start with touches, foreplay, kissing, and then lingering into lovemaking.
- Be On the Same Page with Your Partner
Wim Hof spoke about having issues in our tissues. This means when we have issues with our partner that we bury, it will affect our tissues; in this case, our vaginal tissues. By having unsaid hurts/truths, it prevents us from truly benefiting from the sexual experience.
Having and ignoring problems in our relationship is like a blockage that stops us from soaring.
- Make Sure That the Vagina Is Healthy
Just like we put moisturizer on our skin or our faces to maintain our youth, we need to maintain optimal vaginal functioning by ensuring it is healthy. There are various ways we can do this.
We need to keep optimal sexual health – see our gynecologist when due and maintain proper hygiene.
Furthermore, it’s natural for the vagina to feel different as we age or pass through certain things like pregnancy and childbirth. It definitely wouldn’t be the same in terms of sensitivity, lubrication, and feeling.
There are ways around that. You can see a doctor – they have procedures that they offer. Alternatively, you can go the route of remedies done within the privacy of your home. I have used CO2LiftV. It’s a gel that I insert into my vagina and apply on my vulva.
The CO2LiftV is a medical-grade gel that delivers carbon dioxide to the tissues, which in turn sends oxygen-rich blood to that area, keeping the tissues healthy with a plump, youthful look. This makes my sensitivity, lubrication, and feeling as they were in my 20s.
- Take a Sex Weekend
When we focus on something, we tend to put in more effort into enjoying it. So, focus on your sex experience. Take a weekend off with your partner. During that time, expand on the enjoyment and benefit of sex.
Decide that sexual activity is the entrée during this getaway. Wake up and have sex. Eat, pray, and have more sex. Have lunch, read together, laugh together, and have more sex. Then maybe go for a swim, take a walk, and have more sex. Do that for two more days, and I promise you that you will feel reborn.
So ladies, the obstacle to great sex is not age-related. Sex can be like a fine wine getting more delicious as it ages.
What other tips have worked for you? I’m looking forward to seeing them and other thoughts in the comments.
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